SEXUAL RELATIONS BETWEEN SPOUSES
AN ISLAMIC PERSPECTIVE
Islam is a perfect religion. It covers all aspects of human life, including spouses’ sexual relations.
The husband and the wife choose their sexual activities according to the teaching of Quran and Ahadith and in mutual respect for one another. In this context, following points are important.
1.Sexual relations are for the pleasure of both the husband and the wife and for the procreation of children.
2.Nothing should be done that is offensive or harmful or unacceptable to your spouse. Each has a duty to be sexually available to the other, but neither has the right to disgust or injure the other, physically or psychologically.
3. Sexual pleasure is not limited to vaginal penetration, as it includes other forms of caressing, love making, such as kissing and fondling of various kinds.
4.With a few exceptions, the couple can engage in any activities that they like, in any manner and in any position. Allah (swt) rewards permissible activities as surely as he punishes sinful activities. It is in Quran - “Women are your fields. Go then into your fields as you please.” ( Al-Baqara - 223).
5. It is often reported by sexual counselors in Muslim countries that some modern men and women impose on their spouse on the night of marriage like animals and expect that the spouse will carryout certain prohibited things they have seen on commercial sex websites. This kind of behavior often ruins the life of both the partners.
6.It is forbidden in Islam to have vaginal intercourse while a woman is menstruating (Al Baqara - 222).
During menstruation, women often have mood swings. The husbands should give due consideration to this natural phenomenon. However, a man and his menstruating wife can give one another pleasure so long as the woman’s genitals are avoided. On such occasions, women should not remove their lower garment (pajama).
It is in Hadith -Narrated Ummul Momineen A’isha (رضئ اللہ تعالی عنہا): “The Prophet (صلى الله عليه و آله وسلم) used to recite the Quran with his head in my lap while I used to be in my periods (having menses). (Bukhari, Volume 9, Book 93, Number 639)”
It is in Hadith -Ummul Momineen Maimuna(رضئ اللہ تعالی عنہا)reported: “The Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه و آله وسلم)contacted and embraced his wives over the waist-wrapper when they were menstruating. (Muslim,Book 003, # 0579).
It is in Hadith - Ummul Momineen A’isha (رضئ اللہ تعالی عنہا)reported: “When anyone amongst us (amongst the wives of the Prophet -صلى الله عليه و آله وسلم) menstruated, the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه و آله وسلم) asked her to tie a waist-wrapper over her (body) and then embraced her. (Muslim, Book 003, # 0577).
7.Anal intercourse (sodomy) is forbidden in Islam – Period. It is the worst kind of sexual practice, not done by even wild animals.
It is in Hadith -“Allah (سبحانہ و تعا لی)does not look at one who comes to his wife in her anus”. (Nasa’i: Hasan Isnaad; Tirmidhi and Ibn Hibbaan).
It is in Hadith - “Cursed are those who come to their wives in their anuses.” (Abu Dawood, Ahmad and others with hasan isnaad).
8.The Quran and the Sunnah are generally silent as to the various positions during fondling/love making. Most Ulema consider that it is up to the husband and wife, in love and mutual respect, to decide how to physically and emotionally express their sexual desires.
9.What goes on in bedroom, is a private matter between spouses and should not be discussed or revealed to other persons unless there is some necessity, such as health or safety.
It is in Hadith - Abu Hurairah (رضئ اللہ تعالی عنہ)narrates that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه و آله وسلم)said this about people who reveal and discuss openly their sexual practices: “Do you know what those who do this are like? Those who do this are like a male and female devil who meet each other on the road and satisfy their desire while the people look on.”
It is in Hadith -The Prophet (صلى الله عليه و آله وسلم)said “The most evil of the people to Allah (سبحانہ و تعا لی)on the Day of Resurrection will be the man who consorts with hi